Last night on my Instagram account I promised a post about the many personal and career changes going on in my life right now. So this afternoon, I curled up in my friend Bri’s bed next to our friend Kate before going out for Mariah’s 21st birthday. There I was, texting my best friend from high school, Kelli, and my unbelievably amazing roommate, Haley, and completely uninspired about how to start writing a post all about me.
You may be a step ahead of past-Micaela at this point. That’s probably good.
See, there is no way for me to talk about my successes and my failures without first talking about these amazing ladies. Because of a rocky start to my college experience I have only known most of my current friends for about a year. Since this fall I have bonded with so many amazing women that are so vastly different but support and value one another in ways that I have never experienced in any other friendship before. I can count on any of these people in my life to show up for me 100 percent of the time. It doesn’t matter if I come to them with a good day, bad day, great news, relationship struggles, body image issues, if I want to eat my body weight in waffles, get plastered, listen to Hamilton all the way through, cry, cuddle, take a spontaneous trip to the Redwoods, or nap—whatever it is I know I have someone to count on.
This hasn’t always been true for me. Growing up I liked to stick with one or two friends and was like many girls who claimed to “just like guy-friends better.” Before this year, I might have told you that it was because I was a homebody or didn’t like the drama but I know now neither of those things are true. As women, we sometimes avoid female friendships because we feel threatened by other women. Maybe not in the competitive, catty sense, but because other women understand. They understand the struggles you face every day and the doubts you have about yourself that keep you up at night. But that’s why we need female friends. There is no greater source of empowerment and joy and hilarious feminist jokes than a close group of amazing women.
If you haven’t found your people yet, keep looking. Keep making friends until you find the ones that love you for your salty attitude and coffee cravings and kick-ass personality. I kept looking, and I’ve never been happier.
Now the part of this post where I want to write emotional thank you’s:
To Bri and Riah, thank you for your unwavering support and empathy. To Kate, thank you for feeding me when I didn’t have the energy to get out of bed and cook. To Kelli, thank you for always being there no matter the time and distance that separates us. To Haley, thank you for, well, everything. More than I could begin to write here. To all of you, thank you for always believing in me when I so rarely believed in myself. This last term has tested me in so many ways and I know I wouldn’t have made it out alive without any of you.
As most of us get ready to enter our final year of college, I find myself terrified to finish school (a completely foreign concept for me!) and leave my people. I don’t really believe in miracles, but us ending up together was pretty damn close. I promise not to senior-girl any of you—mostly because I know I couldn’t function in this crazy messed-up world on my own.